My Story

“Grief never ends. But it changes. It’s a passage not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, or a lack of faith. It is the price of love.”

My Story

My journey with grief began at a young age, with the unexpected loss of my older sister when I was ten years old. This was followed over the years by the more expected losses of great-grandparents and grandparents. But back then the map was already lost. We fumbled through, but no one, including us, knew how to help or what we might need. Though it was never discussed, and I’m not sure if it was a conscious decision, my family healed on the inside by heading outside into nature. Walking trails, hiking, backpacking, camping; each having our own discussions with the universe or spirit or god and finding our way through it.

The last several years, I journeyed through the hardest season of my life. And this journey with grief touched every aspect of my life; personal, physical, mental, emotional, and business. In early 2020, I lost my daughter to suicide. Six months later, my marriage unexpectedly ended. Not only did my world end, but the entire world shut down in a pandemic. Without the ability to participate in the typical mourning rituals, I had to find ways to honor my grief and my love and discover a path to move forward.

Just as when I was young, I began healing the inside through heading outside. Nature became my church, where the universe, grief, and I held long conversations. My nutrition and health training helped me honor what my physical body needed. I decluttered and changed my environment to only include things that bring me joy. I opened myself up to feeling whatever came. And I traveled to the deepest valleys of grief, but surprisingly also to the highest peaks of joy. Because when you allow yourself to fully experience sadness and loss, you can also fully appreciate the joy and wonder.

“The work is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other.” —Francis Weller

I am not the first to take this journey, and I will not be the last, but I feel we have lost our collective knowledge of how to travel this path. My emerging desire is to help others re-learn how to find their way. Perhaps that needs to start with food or sleep or other physical needs to build the foundation. Or maybe you are ready to explore your purpose or passion and how to bring it into the world. Or you may just need a safe, supportive space to be yourself. Wherever you are is the right place for you to start.

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